Remember that flap about American Apparel's—reasonable, if bizarre—dress code? The whole thing's been leaked now, in all of its exhaustive, bewildering detail. Pretty sure most of the guidelines only exists so that management will be able to fire people for whatever bullshit they want. Like wearing more than one necklace (ohnoyoudidn't) or wearing a hoodie. (Wait... what?) And the forbiddance of both slim and baggy pants. (If I were one of their employees I'd be begging for a simple uniform.) Also of note are the strident guidelines about maintaining flawless hygiene, makeup, hair, and nails (they know how much maintenance for shit like that costs, right?), to a level of specificity usually reserved for show ponies and indentured prostitutes. That said, I think it's high time we established our own dress code around here. Some of this stuff is totally attainable, like "showered daily." (Right, guys?)


Looking like a douchebag is strongly encouraged.