Attention Portland glory hole users: This is totally the guy you're being blown by. Everyone else: Sorry for inflicting this on you. I recommend washing out your eyeballs and never reading Shakespeare again.

Per Best Laid Plans [Queer issue, June 17]: One can understand Spider’s dismay at seeing various male units coming through glory holes, only to find they don’t measure up. Size, however, is perhaps only one dimension. Shape is another consideration, though likely the sheer pleasure of dealing with a guy’s tool may override considerations like shape, girth, and skin texture. Every unit has its own shape, not to mention variance of length, and every unit has its own personality. As well, going with the tactile element, can be most rewarding. Good cock sucking takes skill as well as imagination. And diligence. Is size, then, really paramount? Perhaps some of it can be turned over to the spirit of the moment, and allowing fantasy thoughts to cloak the deed at hand, can turn the experience into sensual ecstasy. If one truly loves dick-meat, it’s often the texture that is a turn on, as much as the size. And as well, one of the main values of one’s neighborhood glory hole is—anonymonity, and fantasy. If one is fantasizing about the dick probing through the illustrious glory hole, then one can easily imagine whatever turns one on, while one sucks on a guy’s unit. The mind is a powerful fantasizer. As Shakespeare said, a dick is a dick, by any other name is still a sweet dick. Or was Shakespeare’s comment: The rod doth pleaseth me, no matter the size? Okay, likely he didn’t say it, though maybe he thought it. Regardless, a dick is a dick, no matter the size is a rod of pleasure. In today’s world, dick through the glory hole, is like cash out of an ATM. All pleasure. Viva la glory hole. A one-eyed salute to all gay men, bis and straights.—Etienne Gregoire