I think we can all agree that the Navy needed a new killing machine, correct? But Eric Roberts, what kind of madman would develop a mutant cross between a shark and an octopus? Don't you realize that a monster of this magnitude would be virtually impossible to control, and eventually go on a hilarious killing spree backed by the music of a really terrible B-52s tribute band? And really, it's got eight arms! Why is it not able to successfully untie a single bikini top?

SHARKTOPUS!