Dear "Technology": Go eff yourself.
First, our entire Mercury server went kablooey, and we lost everything we were working on for this coming week's print edition. (Not that anything we were working on was all that great... but that's hardly the point!) Second, the blog posting program we use has been acting like my Alzheimer-infested Grandma. I ask it to bring up a new entry, and it's like, "EH?? Gentry? What's a gentry?" Then after I finally publish it, the post mysteriously disappears hours later! And third, OMG, is the freaking internet SLOOOOOOOW today or what?? I've been trying to illegally download an mp3 of the Spin Doctors' "Two Princes" FOR THE LAST FOUR HOURS. Goddammit, what's taking so fawking long?!? Is it traveling through time from 1992??
So EFF YOU, technology! Today you can kiss my sunburned ass (I did some nude sunbathing this weekend, FYI). I'm done freaking waiting around for you, and refuse to use any part of you for the next three hours! (Except of course for YouTube, and this equally slow to download video of "Two Princes." Eff you too, YouTube!!)