Okay! On to the news.
Naomi Campbell Testifies at War Crimes Trial. See what I mean about celebrities' opinions?
Kill, Baby, Kill! BP's "static kill" on the Gulf oil gusher seems to be working well.
155,000 Homes Destroyed in Pakistan: Floods strands thousands and sound generally terrible.
Net Neutrality Deal: Old foes Verizon and Google strike deal on rules for the internet.
How Do We Make Smart Growth Affordable? How about better mortgage rates for people who live in non-sprawling communities?
Bag the Ban, SF Style: Our yuppie sister city to the south looks to expand its plastic bag ban.
Health Inspectors Shut Down Portland Child's Lemonade Stand: This sounds like a hoax, but apparently there were tears and demands for a $120 license.
Another Oregon Boy Goes Missing: Tired of the Kyron case? A five-year-old disappeared from a campsite on the coast.
Hit and Run Jaguar Driver Sentenced to Four Years: Courts catch up with guy who ran over two Franklin High students in a crosswalk.
Really Sad Death on I-5 Onramp: A 52-year-old man changing his wife's tire is struck and killed by a car.