Today in the news, Fidel Castro will be making his first government appearance in 4 years.
Canadian serial killer Robert Pickton dug his own grave a little bit deeper when he bragged to an undercover cop posing his cellmate that he was a "legend" and while he was caught for the murder of six women, he had planned to kill 50.
Pakistan is experiencing the worst flooding in its history.
British, American and German medical workers were among the 10 found dead in Afghanistan.
Scientists are using aliens from the deep like this to determine the impact of the damage in the Gulf:
"I'm definitely going to stop drinking during the daytime," says Jersey Shore's Snookie, after apologizing for embarrassing her dad. But dad, getting arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct is what all the hip young stars do these days...
Here's a good one to read over your breakfast! A man in Mongolia was trapped up to his neck in a toilet cesspit for TWO DAYS! He only escaped when a passerby thought it was strange the loo was calling out for help...
The West Nile Virus is infecting New York City! There have already been three confirmed cases. Carry your mosquito nets and repellent.
And if you live in Forest Grove, don't bother going to the hospital if you're having a baby, just pop on down to your nearest fire station.
Finally, if you're a fan of the 4 am Hawthorne Street food carts, perhaps you've once asked yourself the same question this man's therapist is asking him. What do crepes mean to YOU? Mad French chef in your head? Perhaps he is an inward symbol of your fear of crepes: