Ok, I know, I know. In an attempt to make people care about the Video Music Awards this year MTV paired them with a special early showing of this week's episode. Unfortunately for me and everyone else with no TV and bad taste, they did not post the episode streaming on their website and it ain't on any torrent sites I know of.

I wanted to give you guys a recap, I honestly did. I woke up at 5:00 AM just to do it! But, like the deadbeat dad who consistently forgets his child's birthday I have to give you a copy of Us Weekly and some chewing gum instead of a real present for the second week in a row.

Here's what I can give you:

Also, both Drake and Justin Bieber are on Team Pauly D. Now you know.

Also:

Sigh. See you later this week.