My boss is a good boss. The best. Which is a weird thing for a person to type into the Internet. At first I thought, "Oh, wow. Hey there. That's just my morning glass of bourbon talking. Whee!" Which is probably kind of true. But then I focused through the happy haze, stubbed out my unfiltered Chesterfield and finally remembered what I started to try to tell you all about.
It's not even time for our Christmas bonus (or our weekly visit to the gentleman's lounge), but my boss has already filled out the invoices for a couple of these and sent the carbon copies off to accounts payable via pneumatic tube. Or maybe it's accounts receivable. I don't know. Whichever one it's supposed to be. I'm too stink-o to care... But, hey, did y'all watch the Mad Men finale?
Seriously, isn't that one of the coolest things you've ever seen? We might stll be a bunch of stewbums, but now we're also going to be a real, live typewriting news team! Clackety-clack-clack-clack-ding!, you posers.
And I bet this contraption won't even gum up when I rain pastrami flakes all over it, or drizzle it with sweat from my highball glass. And look! Here comes Lois Lane! And Don Draper! And Walt Disney's disembodied head! Man, I've suddenly got a lot more liquor to pour.