Well, this is really quite dreadful.
  • Photo by Dan Kitwood / Getty Images
  • "Oh dear, this is really quite dreadful."
The United Kingdom is on fire right now — figuratively AND literally. Top headlines on MSNBC and other media sources this week have been overwhelmed with news about how those Brits are treating each other. What the hell is wrong with England, these days?

In England, The RATE Is Too Damn High

Somehow their plucky, sophisticated diction doesn't make them less scary when they're overturning cars and smashing windows. About 50,000 students and professors have taken to the streets in violent protest over Parliament's plan to triple student fees for higher education.

In England, People Die When They Get Old

Why not burn down some shit? You've got nothing to lose when you're only going to live to be 40 anyway. According to a study by RAND Corp and Britain's Institute for Fiscal Studies, older Americans suffer from more chronic illnesses than people in England. However, Americans also live longer, bringing up some questions about the differences in clinical process between America's broke-ass health care system and England's allegedly socialist one.

In England, Stealing Giant Trailers in Broad Daylight Will Get You Caught

The Google Street View camera has snagged another great nugget of reality, in this case capturing the image of a man allegedly in the process of casually stealing a travel trailer from someone's front yard. The crime was committed more than a year ago, but Google's new photo evidence may help this family apprehend the naughty chap.

In England, Straight People Can't Get Gay Married

For those not worried yet about being left for dead by the system once they turn 55, there is still time to stir up controversy about same-sex marriage, and how it's still not allowed. In protest, one straight British couple has applied for the "civil partnership" the government has decided is an equal alternative to marriage. They were denied.

"Denying heterosexual couples the right to have a civil partnership is heterophobic."

- Human Rights Campaigner Peter Tatchell

With all of this going on, it's no wonder the exceptionally British Mike Skinner (The Streets) wants to punch you in your face.

Good luck getting this song out of your head, by the way.