Do I have to suck each individual dick? Do I have to make em all come?
  • "Do I have to suck each individual dick?"

Fine weekend in comedy coming up. I mean, shit, "fine" is an understatement. Because as far as I'm concerned, Louis CK is the best goddamn stand up working today. Read my primer on CK from this week's print edition.

But you know about Louis CK—that's why tickets been sold out for Saturday's two shows about two minutes after they went on sale.

You might not know much about CK's opener, Jimmy Pardo, however. For years Pardo has been working a minimum of five times each week as warmup for the Conan O'Brien show studio audiences. Just this week he got back to it on TBS.

But Pardo's work-ethic is insatiable. He hosts Never Not Funny, one of the biggest podcasts around,one of the few that could actually provide a living. The following clip is a better-than-usual interview with O'Brien, as he and Pardo share an obvious comic rapport.

Pardo's also been touring. I saw him play Helium a few months ago. Late on Saturday, he did something I've never seen a headlining comic do: Pardo improvised the entire set, mostly through crowd-work. It was spontaneous—a testament to Pardo's experience warming up O'Brien's audience—and everyone loved it.

But hey, you might not have tickets for that one. And that's OK, because Greg Berhendt is headlining all weekend at Helium.

And with Berhendt, It's best we start with a bout of full disclosure: Yes, this man wrote "He's Just Not That Into You," a pseudo self-help book for middle-aged woman (Oprah loved it). And yes, there was a movie based on the book. But "He's Just Not That Into You" was mostly a fluke—a weird, small idea tossed off that became a gigantic phenomenon.

Behrendt is a terrific stand up comedian, a passion which was troubled by the success of the book, as middle-aged woman started showing up to his performances expecting something else entirely.

The following clip, a story based on meeting his childhood hero "Diamond" David in 2010, is what Berhendt really does. It's also everything you would expect, fear and love about an aging Roth, who's at once saggy and washed up, but who can drive enough whiskey and cocaine into his wrinkly body to still feel like it's 1985 and he's standing tall, cock of the motherfucking walk.

Greg Berhendt on meeting David Lee Roth