NOT a Portland band.
  • NOT a Portland band.

Hey all stars, you are going to be hella stoked when you hear the good news: Smash Mouth is playing the Portland Music Awards.

Seriously. Fucking Smash Mouth.

Of course, we already pointed out how downright embarrassing this shameful event is, but now it has moved to another level. Few musical war criminals can top this San Jose, California—um, that's not Portland—band, but Smash Mouth's inclusion in this local award show only proves the sheer cluelessness of Craig Marquardo and how utterly useless the PMAs are. Also joining the Shrek soundtrackers will be Tori Amos knockoff act A Fine Frenzy—from Los Angeles (of course)—plus all those other crappy bands previously announced.

10:45 am Update:
It would seem that Marquardo is not a fan of this post, and sent me a message via twitter:

@ezra_ace what's your beef, Ace? Jealous that I only booked one of the awesomest badassest coolest bands not from Portland? SUCK. THIS.

End Hits: I think we need to bring back Worst Night Ever™.