In a monogamous relationship how often is it okay to decline to fool around when you don't feel like it? I recognize the importance of keeping my significant other "milked," as you've put it, but I feel like I am submitting to sex-play that I'm only pretending to be into—pretending for his sake—far too often. It happens so often that three isn't enough time for me to recharge enough sexual energy to be into it. The "too often" I refer to is about every other day, and I think it really would take me about a week to ramp back up to a mood where I really want it. Honestly, I would be 100% okay if he got his sexual needs fulfilled by more people than just me, but he doesn't want it from anyone else. I've been on the other side of this in other relationships and been the one with a much higher libido, and I know how frustrating and discouraging it is to feel unsatisfied and undesired, and I don't want to do that to him. But I also don't think I'm doing either of us any favors (except sexual favors) here.

Moniker Entered Here

My response after the jump...

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Acquiring a sex partner, as I've written before, is like acquiring a dairy cow: dairy cows have to be milked and you knew going in that you would have a responsibility to milk that cow you bought—particularly if you're running one of those strictly monogamous dairies.

That said, MEH, I don't think you're obligated to pretend that every milking is equally thrilling.

Your partner should be mature enough to understand that two have very different libidos. Consequently, MEH, there are gonna be times when you wanna milk the living shit out of him and times when you're milking him because you don't wanna see him suffer.

And when you're milking him to be kind, MEH, and not because you're just dying to milk the shit out of him, you're under no obligation to "fake" anything. You shouldn't have to pretend that you're as into the milking as he is.

So when he needs it and you don't, MEH, you should graciously, lovingly offer to help him get off in a way that doesn't require too much of you sexually or physically, and he should graciously, lovingly accept your offer. Sit your ass down on his face while he masturbates; tide him over with a friendly hand and/or blow job; bury his face in your tits while you mutter a few words about how you're so totally going to milk the shit out of him in a few days, when you're crazy horny again. Get him off—get him milked—and get it over with.

The less faking you have to do, the less these milking sessions will take out of you, the less they'll interfere with your own libido ramping back up.