It's a good day for bad choices. Here are the worst ones so far on this lovely, gray Thursday afternoon...
1) Putting spray paint cans in the oven
Firefighters responded to a call in Southeast Portland today to find a smoldering spray paint can in the attic of a woman's home. The Oregonian reports that she had attempted to warm up some unpleasantly cold cans of paint in her oven, and the heat caused several of them to explode, initiating a kitchen fire and resulting in one can's abrupt journey through the oven door and subsequently the ceiling. Moral: try the microwave next time.
2) Putting your infant's life in the hands of internet trolls
In potentially way less funny news, one couple has chosen to post a Web poll that asks users to decided whether the two should birth their child or get an abortion. The childless pair have experienced two miscarriages in the past year and a half, and in their indecision about whether or not they're ready to be parents, have decided to let this pregnancy's future be up to the votes of random evil internet folk. Maybe it's a pro-life political stunt to point out the flaw in putting a child's life in the hands of voters. Maybe it's just a publicity stunt. Maybe they actually mean it. They claim to be pro-choice and serious about wanting to honor the decision, but haven't ruled out a possible veto (how sensible). Moral: get counseling. Then get a vasectomy.
3) Ruining your badass image by exploiting it to pay your court fees
Steven Slater, the legendary Jet Blue flight attendant who quit his job by swearing at passengers over the intercom, cracking open a beer and deploying the emergency exit chute for a dramatic slide to freedom has now ruined everything. He just released a pretty terrible rap parody video as viral marketing for an in-flight texting app. Moral: keep it real, Steve. This sucks.