While you weren't looking, Bishops has gone and further expanded their astonishingly quickly multiplying empire. They're opening two new locations (one in Bridgeport, the other at Orenco Station, wherever the hell that is) next month. But they're still keeping up the goodwill by continuing their annual Christmas dinner drive, Mohawks for Turkeys. (I know, more turkey. Turkey turkey turkey. Go back to sleep.) How it works is, you drop in to any one of the trabillion locations and make a donation, and for every mere $20 they raise, a Portland family in need will receive a Christmas turkey dinner, delivered to them by a Radio Cab driver—likely one with a freshly shorn mohawk if all goes to plan, since for every $150 raised a Radio driver will voluntarily go under the clippers. But act fast! the drive only goes through November 30, which is soon. And if you take any rides from mohawked cabbies, be sure to thank them for promoting the cause.

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Last year's participants getting interviewed for the teevee. Not sure how many families are fed by having your name shaved into your chest hair, but hey, anything helps.