Okay, people! LAST WARNING! The Mercury Online Charity Auction ends in . So bid, Bid, BID! And remember, while snaking a package away from a competitor may be hilarious fun, let's not forget that the Raphael House desperately needs you to be generous so they can continue to offer the assistance that so many domestic violence survivors need! PLEASE BID BIG!
Here are two final auction items I want to bring to your attention!
Road House: The Play! (And Dinner: The Food!)
Road House: The Play was one of the most talked about events of the year, as a cast of Portland's finest comedians paid ruthless homage to Patrick Swayze's cult film. Don't let it pass you by again: This package includes two tickets to the Thursday, May 12, performance, plus two official T-shirts. Strap on the feedbag before (or after!) the show with a $25 gift certificate to Le Bistro Montage (301 SE Morrison), Portland's favorite source for alligator po' boys and wacky mac ('n' cheese).
PLUS! Yours truly is in this play, and I will happily buy you each a drink, AND give you a pre-show neck rub if you win this auction—so....
Get Your Portrait Painted By Scrappers, The Mercury's Own Art Director!
Yep, that's right, not only is he brilliant at designing and curating our eclectic covers (and basically keeping our paper from looking like complete shit), our art director, Scrappers, is also a prolific and badass painter. And what better way to continue your egotistical streak than to have him paint your portrait? Annnddd bonus! Scrappers paints exclusively on salvaged wood and uses house paint in order to keep his pieces eco friendly!
And take it from me, Scrappers will BREAK HIS ASS IN HALF to make sure you're satisfied with your painting. He's a super generous guy, and has put his all into making this auction a success! So thanks, Scrappers... and...
Last chance, people! THERE'S ONLY ONE HOUR LEFT! BID NOW, OR LOSE THE ITEM OF YOUR CHOICE FOREVER!