As you already know, the Portland red carpet premiere of Portlandia is tonight at the Hollywood Theater—and though it sounds sorta fun, I will not be attending because these types of things just seem too... too... ohh, "Dubuque, Iowa" to me, ya know?

HOWEVER! I may actually attend if you guys take me up on the following BEST IDEA I EVER HAD OF THE DAY. Here it is: A BLOGTOWN HUMAN COMMENT THREAD!

Here's how it works: Everyone who commented on the blog post entitled "New Portlandia Clip!" (currently at 57 comments) would write their comment down on a piece of poster board, line up in order next to the red carpet, and hold up your signs! Oh shit! IT'S A HUMAN COMMENT THREAD!!

Sure, there might be a couple of glitches to work out:
1) "What do I do if I commented more than once?" you may ask. I don't know... get a friend to hold up your sign or something. What am I? Your personal problem solver? Work it out!
2) "What if I show up, and I'm the only one doing it?" you wonder. Again, not my problem! Look, it's a good idea, and guaranteed to be hilarious. If you want to be hilarious, do it. If you don't, don't.
3) "What if someone actually talks to me about my comment? I won't be anonymous anymore, and could be forced to defend myself to AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING!" you say. Again? Don't care, other than it's a "win-win" for me.

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments, or stand outside my window holding up a sign.