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Other than my girlfriend—who won't ever shut up about James McAvoy and thus will watch anything he's in, whether it's Atonement or that Narnia bullshit—I don't know anyone who's even remotely interested in X-Men: First Class, Twentieth Century Fox's latest attempt to squeeze some blood from the battered, worn-down stone that is the X-Men franchise. A prequel to the other X-movies, First Class features McAvoy as Professor X, Mad Men's January Jones as a terrible actress Emma Frost, Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone) as Mystique, and about 9,593 people/children you don't care about playing various mutants you've never heard of. Oh, and Kevin Bacon, I guess? Hey, it's a step up from creepy Logitech commercials!

Topless Robot has the breakdown of who everybody is in that picture. (What, no Marrow?) And lest my crumudgeonly grumbling come across as too... uh, I don't know, grumbly, please note that (A) I will totally see X-Men: First Class, and (B) I would fuckin' love to be surprised and have it be a really great X-Men movie, not to mention a worthy successor to Jeff Parker and Roger Cruz's great, fun X-Men: First Class comics. And hey, it's being directed by Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass), so maybe it won't be awful. But realistically, jesus fucking christ, it's another unnecessary prequel/reboot, and it's one that—before it even comes out—has to live down the fact it's following the remarkably mediocre X-Men: The Last Stand and the cornea-burningly terrible X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The odds ain't good, true believers.