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  • Why yes, I am awesome at photoshop. Original art via.

We don't spend a whole lot of time on OregonLive.com around these parts, but thankfully, Kevin Collier's great "Get to Know an Internet Commenter" column at McSweeney's has alerted us to something magical happening over there: commenter "wookieloving" weighing in on all sorts of important issues.

On "Boy Scouts Argue Perversion Files Should Be Secret":
If their personnel files include information about sexual abuse against children, absolutely. You underestimate the power of the dark side!

On "Oregon House Makes History By Electing Two Co-Speakers":
They do kind of look like Darth Vader and the Emperor when they stand like that, don't they. Very interesting, it is.

On "Spoiled Ground Beef Sold to Institutions in Oregon, California Recalled":
How you get so big, eating food of this kind?

On "In Eugene, Excitement Followed by Resignation as Auburn Rolls to Win":
I suggest a new strategy, Ducks. Let the wookiee win.

Step it up, Blogtownies*! These Star Wars references aren't going to make themselves! (Also, whoever can track down "wookieloving" and get him to start commenting here rather than on OregonLive? Yeah. If you can pull that off, you win this.)

Thanks to Andrew R Tonry for the heads up!

*I hate this term, by the way. Do you guys even like it?

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, "wookieeloving" is here! BUT NOTE THE DOUBLE "E." IS THIS THE SAME NERD? SOME SAY "NO!" How can we tell?!?! REGARDLESS, I FEEL LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW

UPDATE AGAIN! UPDATE AGAIN! UPDATE AGAIN! Sweet motherfucking jesus, I just received an email from Rachel Seymour, the woman behind OregonLive.com's "wookieloving"! She's been posting on Blogtown as "wookieeloving," however, because... well, here:

I was Wookieloving as a bet to see how long I could stay the top commentator on Oregonlive. I guess the only way to prove it is to give you the password for the account. No one else would know that. Go to Oregonlive and log in as [REDACTED], password: [REDACTED].

I am currently commenting on your article as wookieeloving, because my name was stolen. Thanks for the press - made my day! I've never laughed quite so hard at my own antics!

Have a great day.

Sincerely,
Rachel Seymour, aka Wookieloving

I checked it out, and it seems legit—meaning that yes, here on Blogtown, the real "wookieloving" is "wookieeloving," AKA Rachel Seymour. Let the record show that this Blogtown impostor—this "wookieloving," whoever the fuck they are—is a COWARD, a LIAR, and a CHARLATAN.

And goddamn, I love that this whole "wookieloving" thing came about because of a bet. I would also like to propose marriage to Rachel Seymour—an international hero who has, indeed, made my day great. Rachel, that "Wookiee Warrior" action figure I mentioned earlier is all yours. I'd say you've earned it.