GUYS! DO NOT FORGET! Submit your Mercury Valentine addressed to your sweetie by NOON on Friday if you want everyone in the world to see your love note in our print edition, hitting the streets on February 10! Click here to jump right to the submission form, or read on for the pertinent deets! And as always, OH, IT'S SO EASY!
HOW TO MAKE SOMEONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
1) Click this link.
2) Type in the name of your LOVAH. Or LOVAHS.
3) Write the most amazing 150 character love note ever composed by a human. (Including that hack Shakespeare!)
4) If you include your LOVAH's email address, we'll let him/her/it/they know that they're getting a valentine—which will get the person's genital juices flowing waaaay in advance.
5) Include your email for non-evil verification purposes only.
6) Hit SUBMIT! (And then sit back and watch your LOVAH "submit" to your every sexual desire. Okay, that might not happen. But then again... IT MIGHT.)
REMEMBER! ONLY THE FIRST 1500 VALENTINES GO INTO THE PAPER (though all go online). So get hustlin', hustler!
(Emotionally stuck? Here's just the inspiration you need to get started: LL Cool J's "I Need Love.")