So I just heard a lady outside my office window say to some of my co-workers, "There's supposed to be a severe thunderstorm heading this way, so be careful!" My co-workers replied, "Yeah... whatever... I'll get an umbrella or something whatever smoke some pot."
Anyway, I've come to trust random voices I hear outside my window, so I took a quick peek at the National Weather Service site, and LO AND BEHOLD! The disembodied voice was right!


* AT 225 PM PDT...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM CAPABLE OF PRODUCING QUARTER SIZE HAIL...AND DAMAGING WINDS IN EXCESS OF 60 MPH. THIS STORM WAS LOCATED NEAR WEST LINN...OR NEAR OREGON CITY...AND MOVING NORTHEAST AT 50 MPH.
* OTHER LOCATIONS THE SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WILL BE NEAR INCLUDE...
GRESHAM AND BORING...
TROUTDALE...
HAPPY VALLEY...
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
DOPPLER RADAR HAS INDICATED SOME WEAK ROTATION WITHIN THIS STORM. WHILE NOT IMMEDIATELY LIKELY...A TORNADO MAY STILL DEVELOP. IF A TORNADO IS SPOTTED...ACT QUICKLY AND MOVE TO A PLACE OF SAFETY IN A STURDY STRUCTURE...SUCH AS A BASEMENT OR SMALL INTERIOR ROOM.

Notice that the National Weather Service's usage of all caps can only mean one thing:

PANIC!!!

UPDATE 3:35! Crisis avoided... at least for us! Sucks to be YOU, Hillsboro and Oregon City. Find out why after the jump.

UPDATE 4:55! PANIC AGAIN!!! Find out why after the jump.

UPDATE 5:58! Okay, relax again. Sheesh!

PANIC!!!
  • PANIC!!!

4:55 UPDATE!

PANIC!!!
  • PANIC!!!