A freakish storm system chugging across the south spit out scores of vicious tornadoes, killing close to four dozen people in six states. North Carolina saw 62 tornadoes all by itself. And I remember hiding out in my Midwestern basement under an old mattress on green-skied day when I was a kid, clutching a Rosary because I didn't know any better. Yeesh.

Because throughout American history, gangsters have always exercised real, but quiet, power over elected government, it's only fitting that a group of bipartisan senators doing what the president can't—"solving" our debt woes bytrading higher taxes and Pentagon cuts for Medicare and Social Security reductions—is called "the Gang of Six."

Guess who's hardly paying any taxes these days? It's not those communists/devils/bogeymen outside the Tea Party rallies, all looking for a handout. It's these guys.

Catastrophic cleanup news, Part I: The Japanese company that operates the radiation-pissing, quake wrecked Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant says it has a plan to seal its balky reactors in nine months. Which sounds good, except that no one actually knows whether that's possible.

Catastrophic cleanup news, Part II: Some of workers who helped scrub the Gulf Coast after BP's disastrous Deepwater oil spill are taking ill with mysterious and awful symptoms a year later. One worker said she "suffers from a range of debilitating health problems, including racing heartbeat, vomiting, dizziness, ear infections, swollen throat, poor sight in one eye and memory loss."

WTF NATO? Libya's (patchwork, ill-equipped) rebels, taking another pounding in another key town, are starting to wonder whether the western nations that have been dropping bombs on their behalf are as committed to knocking out Moammar Gadhafi as they once trumpeted.

More unrest in the Arab world: Yemen's longtime dictator is asking the Saudis for help in stepping down, but meanwhile his loyalist forces shot into another anti-government protest.

Even more unrest in the Arab world: Syria's president for the first time personally promised to lift 50-year-old laws that limit mass gatherings and, possibly, actual, genuine joy. But promises being what they are—cheap—hundreds more Syrian demonstrators defied the law and hit the streets in several cities.

New rules for air traffic controllers have been announced. The big one? Please stay the fuck awake. Pretty please.

Poetic justice, of a sort: An outbreak of Legionnaires disease (a respiratory ailment, although it sounds like something else) has been traced to the (filthy?) Playboy Mansion's vaunted hot tub. And, uh, 69 people all got sick the same day.

Sorry Blazers fans. But at least you've got the Timbers (not without some controversy). Brian Gjurgevich is live-blogging today's action, and here's his early report: "The Timbers are riding high after an emotional (epic) 4-2 victory over Chicago on Thursday, while 2010 MLS Cup finalists FC Dallas rolls into the House of Pane after claiming its first win of the year on Friday against Colorado. First kick's set for 3 p.m."

Because I might not get a chance in the NBA Finals...