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Ever since Weird Al sent me a personalized, signed head shot after I wrote him a fan letter—c. age 13, right after Alapalooza came out, right around when I thought "Frank's 2000 Inch TV" was one of the greatest songs ever written—the guy's been pretty aces in my book. On the other hand, Lady Gaga seems like the most annoying person on the goddamn planet, so you can probably guess whose side I'm on here. Says Weird Al:

I wrote and recorded what I thought was going to be the first single off of my new album: a parody of “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga called “Perform This Way.” But after hearing it, Lady Gaga decided not to give me permission to release the song, so… it won’t be coming out commercially anytime in the near future. Sorry.

Weird Al has the details here, but the short version: Lady Gaga told Weird Al she'd need to hear the finished song before she gave her stamp of approval; then, once it was recorded, she said no, joining Coolio and Eminem in the super-small "People Who Like to Be Dicks to Weird Al Club." Making Lady Gaga look like even more of a jackass? The message at the end of this video, which contains the parody song's audio: “Had this been released, all proceeds from the sale of the song and video would have gone to the Human Rights Campaign.”

Nice one, Lady Gaga. YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.