GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Yo, what the hook gonna be? (Uh-oh!) See, I don't need no fuckin' hook on this beat! Let's go to press.

Supreme Court Justices rule in favor of Wal-Mart in the nation's largest discrimination case ever. WHEW! I'm glad to see something went Wal-Mart's way for once.

According to Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, his country's woes are the fault of "conspiracies" and "gangs." (Which I suppose means he's the leader of a conspiratorial gang.)

Jackass star Ryan Dunn was killed in a car wreck today... and no, he wasn't doing a stunt.

Looking for the perfect birthday gift? Buy an airport or highway for your loved one from Greece!

Move over, .com! "Generic top-level domains" are being expanded today, making way for .coke, .nyc, and in my case, .hump.

An Obama impersonator was pulled from the stage at a GOP conference—not after he made jokes about Obama, but after he ridiculed the GOP.

NYC courts debate on whether to schedule a decisive vote on gay marriage, while demonstrators from both sides kick up a fuss.

By the way, tomorrow is International Let's Go Skateboarding Day, so leave your stupid bike at home!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Increasingly sunny today, with a high of 77—hopping up to a toasty 83 tomorrow!

And finally, El Willy—the Flamenco Dancing Chihuahua! Ai-yi-yi!!!