Dear Barking Cat:
We saw you barking, yo! So quit trying to deny it by not-so-subtly changing your bark into a meow. Look, barking cat. Anytime you're ready to come out of the closet, we'll be here for you. We love and cherish your individuality, and we accept you for who you are*. BE YOURSELF, barking cat. BE... YOURSELF.
[* Confidential to the World: This is totally fucked up, and there's no way we're accepting this. Don't worry—that freak will be euthanized by dawn.]