GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! See I packed up my diamonds and clothes, just ask your mama she knows. You're gonna miss me baby, hate to say I told you so (Yeah). LET'S GO TO PRESS!
Obama will address the nation today in regards to Afghanistan—soooo... are we IN… or are we OUT?
Former V.P. Al Gore (and alleged "crazed sex poodle") pooh-poohs President Obama's environmental stance.
Sometimes it doesn't pay to speak up: Eight Bahrain activists get life sentences for "conspiring to overthrow the government."
Mexico captures "The Monkey"! (Oh... wait... it's not an actual monkey. It's a top drug cartel leader. Note to future drug cartel leaders: PICK BETTER NAMES.)
Residents in Minot, North Dakota are forced to leave their homes as record flooding endangers the town.
Anybody want to buy Greece? The country is teetering economically, and the boss is saying "Let Everything Go!"
Good news, strippers at Stars Cabaret in Beaverton! The FDA has concluded that silicone breast implants are more than likely safe.
Police arrest an Amish man who pulled up in a horse and buggy to meet who he thought was a 12-year-old girl he'd been sexting. (Hmm... so they DO still make pedophiles the way they used to.)
Meghan McCain calls "BULLSHIT" on Bristol Palin—which admittedly isn't so hard, since she's obviously such a fucking liar.
Locally... aw, SHIT. The mosquitoes are here.
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Mostly sunny with a high of 76 today, but expect more cloudiness and cooler weather (in the upper 60s) throughout the rest of the week!
And finally, sad celebrity news: Singer Glenn Campbell has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Here's my favorite Glenn song ever.