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Heh. Hey, remember when you guys thought sending me to a burlesque show would be my "Worst. Night. Ever."? Remember how that turned out? And now you're sending me to go ride my bike at PIR?

Holy shit. Do you have any idea how much I fucking loathe Hairspray? Do you have any knowledge of my non-existent tolerance levels for—shudder—regional theater? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME AT ALL?

No. Clearly, you do not. And for that, Blogtown readers, I am grateful, and I love you. I truly do. I only ask that the kindness you've shown me—and oh, I'm well aware it's not an intentional kindness, but I don't care, you see—continues for the foreseeable future. And also that, in the coming weeks, it is not offered in any way, shape, or form to my colleagues.