GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! A-one-to-the-two-to-the-two-to-the-three, Adina do ya wanna get freaky with me? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Well, well, looky here! The President and the GOP finally agree to a framework of a plan to raise the debt ceiling and save trillions in the future... but Boehner still has to sell it to the pricks in his party.

Speaking of pricks, Michelle Bachmann temporarily cancels her "I'm saying weird things!" campaign to come back to Washington and vote against the debt deal. Because she hates America.

Hey guys! President Obama's birthday is this Thursday! Whaddaya gonna get him?

OMG, people are still talking about D.B. Cooper (the guy who 40 years ago parachuted away with $200,000 of stolen money in the Northwest)? It's only $200,000!! Let the guy keep it!

The Dept. of Health and Human Services has new guidelines for health insurance companies, saying they must offer a ton of new health services for women including HPV screening, breast feeding support, and free birth control. Ahem! Where's my free prostate exam?

The Sarah Palin Blowjob Spectacular (her documentary Undefeated) earned only $5000 at the box office this weekend. $5000.

Several hundred protesters camping out in Egypt's capitol are currently clashing with police, according to reports.

In sports, the Timbers tie with Toronto 2-2... which actually isn't very good news. Find out why in Brian Gjurgevich's TImbers wrap-up!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: If you like this past weekend, you're gonna love this week—sunny and warm with highs in the upper-70s, low '80s!

And finally, the Hunchback of Notre Cat! (Or is that the Hunch Cat of Notre Meme? Whatever.)