Byeee! Have fun stormin the West Side!
  • "Byeee! Have fun stormin' the West Side!"

So, look, I know it’s the Mercury and I’m supposed to write about Portlandy events like pork belly luncheons and fixie parades, but as a reluctant native of The ‘Burbs, I feel it is my civil duty to stand up for those of you who have yet to quit your jobs at the Netflix call center and move to the city. Wonders abound just 2-15 miles outside Portland city lines!

So here - stuff to do this weekend that doesn’t end with a $60 cab ride home.

MOVIES - There’s an outdoor showing of The Princess Bride tonight at McMenamin’s Grand Lodge out in Forest Grove. It’s all ages, but there will be beer and cajun tots and a whole town full of people who have yet to admire your sweet Burgundyfest ‘stache. Show starts at dusk following some manner of live music; feel free to show up late if you’re really only in it for Billy Crystal.
Pat's Corner at McMenamin's Grand Lodge, 3505 Pacific, Forest Grove, dusk, FREE

SKATING - Did you know there’s still a Skate World open out in Hillsboro? One that does 18-and-over skate nights every Friday from 10 pm to midnight? One that allows “’jam skating and rexing”?! Dream come true, right? But don’t forget your elbow pads — rexing sounds pretty dangerous.
4395 SE Witch Hazel Rd, Hillsboro, 10 pm-12 am, $5.50

FLOWERS? - There’s a Dahlia Festival going on right this moment in Canby! "WHAT, HOLY SHIT, FLOWERS?!" you say? I. KNOW. It's awesome. I bet you and your mom will learn a lot about tubers.
995 NW 22nd, Canby, Sat-Mon 10 am-6 pm, FREE

See, suburban comrades? There’s tons of fun to be had out there! Get at it!