A surprising amount of clown-related news has already popped up across the region this week. And, like the distinction between most clowns, we have good news and bad news.
Q: What's worse than a creepy bus driver being charged for child sex abuse?
A: If the bus driver is a former clown.
On Friday, a 68-year-old Aloha man was taken into custody on charges of first-degree sodomy and sex abuse that allegedly occurred more than a decade ago. While none of the crimes happened while he was at work, former clown/bus driver William Dunlop had met the young girl on his bus route. Dunlop used to run a clown business out of North Portland, but no longer dons the clown suit for events. And probably won't ever again. Whew.
Q: What better than a university that requires SAT scores and a GPA?
A: Clown college!
This exists! Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus are headed to the Rose Garden tomorrow to hold clown college auditions for anyone over 18. While professional clown experience is not required, auditioners are required to "show, in a 3-5 minute routine, their ability to display exaggerated facial expression, athleticism or any unique physical skills, an understanding of comedy, as well as a sense of personality and why they wish to become part of The Greatest Show on Earth". No sweat. If a contestant makes the cut, they get the honor of traveling across the nation with the Ringling Bros. circus show. Stop by at 10 a.m. to show 'em what you got. Or just gawk at awkward jugglers in bright colors that hopefully have a clean criminal record.