Whenever I'm feeling down I like to come up with business propositions. This business proposition revolves around my desire to roll with a pug on a faux bear skin carpet. The problem is that I don't want to OWN a pug. And PEOPLE are always so suspicious when you clasp your arms around their pet and cavort around the Mercury office. Anyway, we don't even have a faux bear skin rug or Steve certainly doesn't let us use it.
I can't believe Portland doesn't already have this: