Slip that butcher knife underneath the couch pillow, because tonight marks the debut of the new Ryan "Glee, Nip/Tuck" campy psychosexual spook fest, American Horror Story (FX, 10 pm). Here's a description from this week's I Love Television™:

The plot: An unhappily married couple (Connie Britton and Dylan McDermott) and their teen daughter (Taissa Farmiga) are intent on pulling their family back together. Soooo... they move into a haunted house! After letting their real-estate agent have it for not mentioning the whole "multiple murder" thing, the family is forced to come to grips with a few of the house's "quirks": blood-squirting walls, a cellar filled with pickled baby parts, a shape-shifting maid (who thankfully shifts into something sexy), ghosts that actually kill people, a freakily insane next door neighbor (played by the amazing Jessica Lange), Dylan McDermott's bare ass, aaaaaand... what am I forgetting? OH!! A psychotic demon in a gimp suit! YAYYYY!!

Read the rest here, and trust me: People are either gonna LOVE or DESPISE this. Watch it tonight, and choose a camp! Until then, here's a taste.


You get the shovel, I'll get the bleach!