A man presumed killed by serial killer/amateur clown John Wayne Gacy has turned up, very much alive, 35 years later in Beaverton.

Take it away, Associated Press!

“My family thought I was dead. That hurt when I heard that,” the 59-year-old carpenter told The Associated Press on Wednesday. “There’s a difference between being murdered and running away, and I basically just ran away.”

Szal was 24 when he parked his car at Chicago's O'Hare airport in 1977, threw his keys down a sewer grate and got on a plane to Colorado Springs. He abandoned his relatives after the turmoil of a divorce and a bitter family feud.

He intended to never look back, Szal said. But it wasn’t that easy. Holidays and birthdays were tough, and his wife pleaded with him to reconnect, he said, but he was too stubborn to make the phone call.

Who says nothing exciting ever happens in Beaverton?