2011 was the year that the now internationally infamous I, Anonymous Blog came into being—and no, you don't have to thank us. It was our pleasure to construct a diabolical "terrible person" trap designed to lure in the worst, most petty members of our society, entrap them, and gleefully smirk as they devour each others' entrails. And sometimes it's funny, too! And sad. But its been rarely if ever boring—except for that one bad stretch when no one would talk about anything but bicycles, and those poems some idiot sent in. So as I was going through the I, Anonymous entries of 2011, trying to decide which would be the blog quote of the year, I said to myself, "Man. I'm tired of doing this. I'm going to let someone else decide. Where's my glue?" So here ya go, Blogtownies! I'm throwing what I think were the best I, Anonymous Blog quotes of the year to the wolves (that's you) to decide which was the best of the best. And here are your nominees (provided without context, because it's more entertaining that way—however, I provided links to the original post if you're super curious). ENJOY!! (And keep on submitting those rants 'n' confessions in 2012!)

To the paper tower dispenser in the second floor staff washroom:

What the fucking fuck is your fucking problem? Why must you shred every single paper towel I try to remove from you, giving me one third of a paper towel while the rest stays bunched up in your stupid slot? I CAN'T DRY MY HANDS WITH ONE THIRD OF A PAPER TOWEL, YOU MORON!

Did you forget that you were shooting me up with speedballs when i was 14 & you were 20?

You were fully erect, had the four fingers under/thumb over grip and were thrashing your junk like it was on fire.

I hope you get your eyes plucked out by insane pelicans while wild ferrets gnaw at your genitals. I hope your dreams crumble to dust and and all that you love and hope for dissolves into nothing, you fucking thief. May wild boars feast upon your intestines and vomit them back into your screaming mouth.

You: tall, skinny, a-sexual

Me: asleep, unsuspecting, vulnerable

You: overly fascinated with inserting scientific medical instruments into anuses for data collecting.

I, Anonymous Blog? I love you so much. LET'S VOTE!!!