So every day this week, I'll be bringing you a pathetically useless Blogtown post from 2011. Should you insist on continuing to visit Blogtown during a week when most people are either on vacation or leading lives worth living, you deserve to be reminded that you are an imbecile for continuing to encourage these syphilis-slathered turds. —Frank Cassano
THE SECOND-WORST BLOGTOWN POST OF 2011: "How to Ride a Bicycle" (Thursday April 14, 2011 at 3:44 pm)
From Sarah Mirk's first days at the Mercury—when her "Sexy Bike" posts immediately turned an entire city against her—she has blathered incessantly about a form of transportation utilized by the likes of eight-year-old girls and the French. Ms. Mirk's wide-eyed fetishization of bicycles, however, plummeted to a nadir in which she sanctimoniously chirped, "I think we could use a quick lesson in basic Portland biking etiquette."
Ms. Mirk: Everything about you infuriates me. I am now going to go for a drive. I will be looking for you.