Yes, this is good news. The United States has added 200,000 more jobs, knocking the unemployment rate to its lowest level in three years, 8.5 percent. But is it great news? No. This doesn't count all the frustrated people who have simply dropped out of the labor market altogether over the past few years. And even in this report, nearly half of those unemployed have been out of work for six months or more. Oh, and let's not forget, unemployment for African Americans is up to 15.8 percent, with the rate for Latinos at 11 percent. This all pales in comparison to what's going on across the Atlantic. Unemployment rates in Europe are firmly above double digits.

Newt Gingrich, bless his helpful heart, fancies himself a motivational speaker. He's hoping the NAACP's annual convention will give him a chance to explain, in person, "why the African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps."

Not to outdo Newt, Rick Santorum, meanwhile, goes for the "gay marriage is just like polygamy" argument in a New Hampshire appearance in front of college Republicans (bless their striving, little hearts)... and actually got booed off the stage.

Ever wonder how Ol' Frothy can afford to run for president as a humbly conservative holy man? It's because, after his years in Congress, he cashed in by getting even cozier with the fat-cat lobbyists he regularly showered with appropriations and special attention.

Naturally, Texas police say they had every right to shoot and kill an eighth-grader who was carrying a pellet gun.

A sensible change in our immigration rules would now allow some deported immigrants to actually remain in the United States, with their families, while enduring the months- to years-long process required when seeking a "hardship" waiver.

Iran is playing war games. Because they're starving. Because we made all of their big oil customers—like China, Europe, and Japan—choose sides: us or them.

The mess in Syria hits another low: For the second time in as many weeks, a suicide bomber strikes in Damascus, killing 26 people and maybe signaling a new phase for what's quickly becoming an all-out civil war against dictator Bashar Al-Assad.

Scientists are angering the gods again. Stupid scientists.

Portland officials can't seem to decide if they're legally bound to purchase $1 million more in parking meters from the company accused of bribing the city's former parking systems manager. Mayor Sam Adams, at least, is saying "hell no." (I'm paraphrasing.)

SAY, LET'S WATCH RICK SANTORUM BE A BIGOT AGAIN!