Thanks to everybody who came out for Saturday night's "That's My Jam!" dance party at the Bossanova! As predicted it was a stone cold GAS, and the mighty team of DJ Beyonda and Ill Camino had booties wildly maneuvering all night long. Let's do it again soon, and stand by for the next super fun shindig in our Mercury Winter of Fun™ series!

One note of concern, however...

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PORTLAND WHITE PEOPLE? While our "Soul Train Dance Line Contest" was a great success, with one lucky ass-shaker shaking away with $100—what is it about a "Soul Train dance line" that you people don't understand? As I clearly explained TWICE before the contest, everyone would form parallel lines, and dance down the center toward the judges. Ummm... like this:

EASY... BREEZY... BEAUTIFUL... COVERGIRL. Amirite? And yet, Portland White People cannot seem to grasp this simple and self-explanatory concept, because they are apparently hardwired to form a circle and hop in and out of it willy-nilly! I'm not criticizing the dancing, or your sexiness—but this stubborn insistence on forming a circle, rather than the clearly superior parallel lines of a Soul Train dance line is nothing short of disturbing, and something you people (AKA Portland White People) really need to work on... unless you like being Mayor Whitey McCracker of Honky Town. In short: CIRCLES, NO. PARALLEL LINES, YES. Thank you in advance for your assistance in this pressing matter.