GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! So here I am, in this Hollywood city. The city of the stars, movies, women and cars. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Syria's vice prez says he wants to open discussions with the protesters, and ask them to please stand still while the government drops bombs on them.
Iran claims that if necessary, it can hit U.S. targets worldwide at any time. OH, SHUT UP, FELICITY.
The 2% payroll tax cut expires at the end of February, and guess who's dragging their feet AGAIN?
Rupert Murdoch settles nine of the hacking lawsuits—barely paying a tuppence, if ya ask me, guv'nah.
Today in "UGGGHHH!!" and "Brrrrrrrrr."
Russian scientists bore into an ancient, Antarctic lake and find... OH MY GOD!!! WHAT IS THAT THING?!? NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO.... [end transmission]
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Hey!! What happened to the fucking sun?!? Fuck weather forecasts anyway.
And finally, I'M SERIOUS GUYS! Fuck our weather people! I want Tom Miller from Channel 11 in Alpena, Michigan! AND I WANT HIM NOW!