We're a mere five days away from Hecklevision: Commando, brought to you by the Mercury, the Hollywood Theatre, and Arnold Schwarzenegger's travel tips. Motherfucker taught Rick Steves everything he knows.

Hecklevision: Commando—watch Commando, text from your seat, and behold the sight of your texts as they magically appear on screen! Also, drink beer! And eat milano cookies! Alyssa Milano milanos!

Hecklevision: Commando. Sat Feb 25, 7:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy), $7. Tickets here.