On Sunday, Blogtown TV critic/commenter/Mercury film reviewer Elinor "Joneser" Jones will be live-blogging the Oscars, which is a good thing, as she is probably the only person on the planet who is capable of making them even remotely tolerable. When I asked her what time she was going to start—since, in Super Bowl fashion, the Oscar pre-show begins about 12 hours before anyone wants it to—she said:

It looks like they start at 5, so I'll probably start up just before that. Live-blogging the red carpet would be fun too but the ceremony itself is already like 9 hours long, so I'll stick with that. I HAVE A LIFE YOU KNOW. (Not really.)

So there you go: Oscars. Sunday at around 5. Blogtown. Hosted not by Billy Crystal but by Joneser. You're welcome, internet.