GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Sooner or later, your legs give way, you hit the ground. Save it for later, don't run away and let me down. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Big time violence in Afghanistan—including suicide bombings, an attempted poisoning, and the killing of two American officers inside the Afghan Interior Ministry—poses a problem for US withdrawal. (Apparently they're still kinda sorta pissed about the "burning the Koran" thing.)

An apparent plot to assassinate Vladimir Putin is thwarted—probably because the killers couldn't find an appropriate grassy knoll.

The Murdoch hacking scandal is now extending to British officials, who have allegedly accepted hundreds of thousands of dollars of bribes (that's around 500 billion tuppences for you Brits out there).

Five students were shot this morning at a Ohio high school—probably by another student, the story is still developing.

Just in time for the Arizona and Michigan primaries, Romney is wiping up Santorum in the polls. (I would use an anti-bacterial cleanser if I were you.)

Speaking of Santorum, he says he doesn't believe in the separation of church and state. Can we just start calling him "Bendict Arnold" now?

In case you care, AND YOU SHOULDN'T, The Artist took home five Oscars last night including the ones for best picture, actor, and director. I angrily stormed out of the room and never looked back after watching Billy Crystal's first three "jokes." HE AND THE OSCARS ARE THE WORST!!! (Even compared to leukemia.) You should still check out Joneser's live blog coverage anyway.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny today, but get ready for a week of cold (occasionally snowy) showers.

And finally, NOT THAT I WATCHED IT, but everyone was talking about Angelina Jolie's leg at the Oscars. Honey, there's a reason you shouldn't wear a dress with a double-slit.

via Buzzfeed
  • via Buzzfeed