Rick Santorum sits down for a chat with Real Clear Religion:

RCR: If you happen to run into Dan Savage, what would you say to him?

RS: I would tell him that I'm praying for him. He obviously has some serious issues. You look at someone like that who can say and do the things that he's doing and you just pray for him and hopefully he can find peace.

The man who wants to get his hands on the nuclear football so he can micromanage your sex life—no birth control! no porn! no gay sex! no teleprompters*! no aborting those gift-from-God rapebabies, you sluts!—thinks I have issues. That's hilarious. But my old college roommate and I do have one thing in common: we both spend a lot of time obsessing about other people's sex lives. Rick, however, spends an inordinate amount of time doing so. Me? It's my job, it's what I'm paid to do, the amount of time I spend obsessing about other people's sex lives is totally, you know, ordinate.

* Dirty talk is tricky, wouldn't want to say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment, so Terry and I have a set of teleprompters mounted on the headboard of our bed. Is that normal?