Mitt Romney Suddenly Plagued by Rumors of Public Masturbation

Comments

1
"Of course, nobody has any proof that Mitt Romney didn't get caught masturbating on a Connecticut hotel balcony, either."

Oh, Paul Constant, you're just adorable.
2
I've read rumors that Ed Muskie used to be hooked on Ibogaine.
3
Let he who does not thrash the root on occasion, cast the first stone.
4
Seeing as Obama has had to deal with that birth certificate thing since he started running in 2007, it only seems fair that Mittens shouldn't get off too easily by wiping away claims of public masturbation.
5
I look forward to Conan O'Brians new guest character - The Masturbating Mitten.
6
This is more proof that comment sections (or at least comment sections on YouTube) are worthless. Nevertheless, I'm going to choose to believe this until someone proves that Mitt DID NOT masturbate on a balcony in Connecticut in this or any other dimension.
7
Mitt's innocent! His magic underwear was itchy!
8
"Of course, nobody has any proof that Mitt Romney didn't get caught masturbating on a Connecticut hotel balcony, either."

Wow, did your church help you come up with that line of reasoning?

Seriously, Merc, where did you find clown?
9
what a bunch of anonymous douche bags
10
WHERE DID YOU FIND CLOWN
11
@9: I am not anonymous I am a publicly known douche bag. @10: Clown with moose and squirrel.
12
We find clown in tiny car. Many more clown like him.
13
Church. Reasoning.

Case closed.
14
Does anyone get it that this is a joke? Jeeez. Lighten up, people!! (personally, I think he probably does it a lot.. Have you seen his wife up close??)
15
I was shocked....shocked, I tell you, to learn of Mitt Romney masturbating on a Connecticut hotel balcony. The mere thought of Mitt Romney masturbating on a Connecticut hotel balcony sickens me more than him strapping his dog on the roof of his car. By the way, where *was* his dog while Mitt Romney was masturbating on a Connecticut hotel balcony? Mitt Romney's masturbating on a Connecticut hotel balcony really needs to be addressed.
16
one penis in hand, two balls in the bush.just a friend of my ol pal willard(mittens).