You constantly revile me with your singular lack of vision. Be aware, there is an essential truth and beauty in all things. From the death throes of a speared gazelle to the damaged smile of a freeway homeless. But that does not mean that the invisibility of something implies its lack of being. Though simpleton babies foolishly believe the person before them vanishes when they cover their eyes during a hateful game of peek-a-boo, this is a fallacy. And so it is that the unseen dusty build up that accumulates behind the DVD shelves in the rumpus room exists also. This is unacceptable.
From "Werner Herzog's Note to His Cleaning Lady," by Dale Shaw.
BONUS HERZOG: "Werner Herzog Discovers John Waters is Gay," by the real Werner Herzog, via FilmDrunk—a video that proves, yet again, that no matter how good your joke is about Herzog writing a note to his cleaning lady, the real Herzog will come along and do something 10 times better. Trying to make up anything Herzog might do will always pale to what Herzog actually does; trying to parody Herzog is like trying to wrestle the sun.