IT'S ELECTION DAY!: Vote, dammit! Also, follow our live blogging of the election results straight from the candidate's parties later tonight. One of them is on a boat.
In More Important News: Japan now has the biggest public toilet in the world. It includes flower beds.
Education Station: The Portland School Board reaches a budget agreement, saving teachers and maintaining a full school year!
D.C. or Bust: Alaska Airlines now offers direct flights from Portland to Washington D.C. This will make the Mercury's trip to the Correspondent's Dinner much easier.
Hungry for Human Rights: More than 2,000 Palestinian prisoners end their hunger strike after leaders strike a deal allowing a more humane treatment of prisoners.
Ron Paul Out: Presidential candidate and college student favorite Ron Paul has dropped out of the race (after holding on for a impressively long time). Oh, Ron.
Jay-Z Loves Obama: And also gay marriage, according to a CNN interview. Except he still hates politics.
TTYL: A New Jersey town bans texting while walking, promising a $85 fine if they catch anyone breaking the law. Or running into a pole.
Bad Cop: Someone posing as a police officer in Mississippi is pulling people over and shooting them dead. Strangely, people are afraid to tell the police.
Murdochgate: Ex News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks and her husband are charged in trying to cover up the publication's phone hacking scandal. I feel like this as been going on forever.
And if You Still Don't Know Who to Vote For: Vote Knope.