GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Heaven's just a sin away, just a sin away. Can't wait another day, I think I'm givin' in. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

After raising (and spending) a stunning $1.2 million, mayoral candidate Eileen Brady is OUT, which means Charlie Hales and Jefferson Smith are heading toward a November showdown. Hey. Did you check out our Mercury Election Battalion Live Blog last night? IT'S GODDAMN DOPE.

Other big winners in last night's election? Ellen Rosenblum (AG), Steve Novick (city council), Bob Stacey (metro), Sam Chase (metro) and the Multnomah County Library. YAY BOOKS! And it's gonna be practically penniless Amanda Fritz vs. well-heeled Mary Nolan in November for that city council seat. Check out more results in our "everything else" election live blog from last night, because... IT'S GODDAMN DOPE.

Yugoslav war criminal and ethnic cleanser Ratko Mladic is on trial for his crimes against humanity—and as it turns out? He's quite the little drama queen. Put a lid on the theatrics, Frances!

Here's how you help make Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg billions of dollars, brown-nosers.

The defense rests in the John Edwards trial, and the jury is set to convict... uhhhhh... start deliberating on Friday.

John Doe #1 has dropped his sexual harassment lawsuit against John Travolta who feels "vindicated." And when John Doe #2 drops his, Travolta will probably feel even "vindicate-ier."

A new report proves that a man was wrongly put to death in Texas—which has never happened before, I bet!

Sketchers shoe company is forking over $40 million for erroneously stating that their shoes "toned muscles." So THAT'S why I'm forty pounds overweight!

A bunch of richy-rich dickhead Republicans are launching a $25 million attack ad campaign against Obama. That's right, assholes... spend allllll your money.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: A few clouds rolling in and cooler, but still nice and another gorgeous weekend ahead!

And finally, a shocking report about an obese man who protests an all-you-can-eat restaurant for not giving him enough to eat! LOOK AT HIM!!! HE'S STARVING!!!