What?!! WikiLeaks' Julian Assange a politician? According to a poll conducted by Australia's Labor party, if he ran for office in his native country, Assange might actually get some votes.

Speaking of leaks…

Holy Moly! The Vatican is none too happy with a new book chocked-full of leaked documents about the sacred institution. Don't worry, guys. As Neal Cassady said, "grace beats karma," right?

Keep them out! Israel's prime minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, says no to Africa's tired, poor, and huddled masses entering his country looking for work and refuge. You know the schtick: meddling-outsider ethnic group threatens to destroy the very "social fabric" and "national identity" of the good citizens of blah blah blah.

Pakistan blocks Twitter. After users posted pictures depicting the prophet Muhammad, the Pakistan government blocked Twitter in the country. Really? Why not just see who is posting what and arrest them later? Come on. Think outside the totalitarian box a little.

Debate at the G 8. At Camp David, President Obama urged German chancellor Angela Merkel to go easy with her austerity plans for Greece. She wasn't having it.

Relationship Status: Married. That's right, Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg is now married.

In other tech news…

The CEOs of Apple and Samsung will enter mediation tomorrow. This will be the second quiet chat Apple has had recently.

Farming with lasers? Yup. Step aside glyphosate, Farmer Brown's got something better for them damn weeds!

In case you missed it….

The blind Chinese dissident, Chen Guangcheng, landed in the US last night. But don't worry, I'm sure this won't anger our number one trading partner too much. And no doubt there will be plenty of other human rights violations we can overlook in the future.

Solar Eclipse! The US western states and parts of Asia will experience a partial solar eclipse later today. For Portland the eclipse starts at 5:04 pm with the sun mostly eclipsed by 6:21 pm.

Assuming these fucking clouds go away, there might even be something to look at—just not directly, retinal burn and all that. But just in case our view is obstructed, here’s a video of what it might look like, (and a lot of people wearing weird sunglasses).