The Reports Are In: The naked man guilty of chewing off another naked man's face in Miami may have been on drugs. Ya think?
Strikes Twice: A 5.8 magnitude earthquake shakes northern Italy, six days after a 6.0 quake hit the same region.
Crypt Keeper: Elvis Presley's original crypt (now vacant, after his body was moved to his Graceland home) is up for auction! Is this something to be excited about?
Booted: Following the massacre of 108 Syrian civilians by a pro-militia group on Friday, major Western countries (UK, France, Australia—US to follow) are expelling senior Syrian diplomats.
On Board: With the Reynolds school strike officially over, school is back in session.
D'Aww: That ridiculously adorable lip-dub wedding proposal done by a Portland guy has gone ridiculously viral.
All Grown Up: Justin Bieber is wanted by the police for attacking a member of the paparazzi. And so it begins...
Yes: Judd Apatow will be the guy behind the new Pee-Wee Herman movie.
On that note: Here's Pee-Wee's morning routine. Best.