Look at that Silver Fox. Rowr.
  • Look at that Silver Fox. Rowr.

His name is Neil Olshey. He used to be the General Manager for the Los Angeles Clippers. There was a time, not so long ago, where hearing that our GM was coming from the Clippers would be akin to finding out Disney had just hired Uwe Boll to direct the next Muppet movie. But not in 2012. Not after Mr. Olshey was responsible for getting Blake Griffin, Chris Paul, Chauncey Billups, Kenyon Martin, and Caron Butler on his roster.

The news was first broken by David Aldridge via twitter, so far as I can tell. If you don't follow Aldridge, you should. He's sorta like Stephen A Smith, but he's been in the game longer, he's smarter, classier, more insightful, not annoying as fuck, actually knows what he's talking about, and is generally more palatable as a human being by almost every conceivable metric.

According to this LA Times article, Olshey was previously an actor, securing roles on my mother's two favorite soap operas, One Life to Live and All My Children (may they rest in peace). He came to Los Angeles on the advice of one LENNY FUCKING BRISCOE HIMSELF, JERRY ORBACH. Quoth the Olshey:

Jerry Orbach, God rest his soul, was the one who convinced me, ‘Look, the payoff [here] isn't big enough. You need to go to L.A., where you can hit a home run.

Orbach, you beautiful bastard, you. You give and you give.
  • Orbach, you beautiful bastard, you. You give and you give.

So maybe you're wondering "How the hell did we manage to land this Olshey, a guy who so transformed the Clippers that about half the somnambulistic, fairweather, middle-of-the-second-quarter-arrivin-ass Lakers fans converted to the Clipper faith this year?" I'm guessing Paul Allen's pockets play a big part in this, as they always do. We'll find out at the Tuesday press conference, I'm sure. But is this guy going to be able to survive under Allen's thumb? Well, his previous employer was idiot shitbag Donald Sterling, so I'd think Olshey would consider a confusing, taciturn nerd to be a massive step up in character quality, and could potentially thrive as GM. Until said taciturn nerd gets jealous of the silver fox he just hired to fix his team and starts undercutting him like they did the last Golden Boy that occupied the chair.

Holla at ya boy
  • Holla at ya boy

This guy has picks #6 and #11 in the upcoming NBA Draft, and should he manage it correctly, over 10 million dollars worth of cap-room to potentially play with. Let the Blazers' offseason truly begin.