VCARD's letter in this week's column was really touching. I'm a straight guy in his late-30s. I was a virgin until I was 26, for the same reasons as her. I've never been married party due to my hang-ups that both led to and were caused by that virginity. I got lucky, though, and became better looking in my late 30s than I ever was before, and got over the mental issues that were blocking me. I do alright now. But her statement, "I don’t think people who develop normally can really understand the sort of desperation I feel," is so painfully true—for men and women both. For someone who is strongly sexual it is akin to an emotional starvation and can lead to so many other problems. I'm not sure why I'm writing. But reading VCARD's letter made me want to be her Casanova for a night or a week or a month. I'd do it for free, with total honesty and no awkwardness.—Happy To Help
In your column in the this week I read about a 26-year-old straight girl who's a virgin and needs some help with getting rid of her virginity. I can help. I and understand those feelings. If she is in the Detroit area I can really help her. I'm not a nut or stalker, just a guy who can give her confidence and who can also help ease her frustation. Forward my email address to her.—Not A Stalker
Dan, I read your most recent column and saw that letter from the 26-year-old virgin who signed herself "VCARD." She was looking for info on hiring a straight male sex worker to take her virginity. I'm a 26-year-old male and I would love to help her out, free of charge! Could you pass her my info so she can get in touch with me?—Man With A Plan
Nope, MWAP, I can't pass your info to VCARD. I can't pass yours along either, HTH, or yours, NAS. I've been warned over and over against putting my readers in touch with each other—the lawyers tell me it has something to do with cannibals and ax murderers and criminal liability or legal exposure or some such shit—and I generally try to do what my lawyers tell me to do. But... people whose letters I publish frequently lurk in the comments thread attached to the column in which their letter appeared. And there's nothing I can do to stop any of you guys from leaving a note for VCARD here.
Some bonus advice for VCARD after the jump...
I'd like to share my experience. I was in VCARD's position when I was 26, except I was also really fat. I decided though that I was going to lose my virginity, so I started going on online dating sites as well as less reputable places like craigslist. I sent all kinds of guys messages and was upfront and honest about my size, but I didn't let the guys know that I just wanted to lose my virginity. I got lots of rejections, lots of replies, went on several dates, and fooled around a little, but the moment never seemed right. Regardless, going on all those dates was a great learning experience and it brought me out of my shell. Finally after a year, shortly after my 27th birthday, I went out on a first date with a guy who I met through craigslist that I had been talking with online for about a week, and he made me feel comfortable and safe enough that I lost my virginity with him. It turned into a booty call kind of situation with a few movies and dinners thrown in, and then later it became something more serious. To my surprise, we've been together four years now. I guess the moral of the story is that VCARD doesn't need to pay for sex, no matter what she looks like, and there are certain benefits that she won't get if she ends up paying for it.—Finally Fucked At Twenty-Seven