The Betties SoulFearic Acid finds a hole in the High Rollers wall.

Roller derby is the most exciting, white-hot game in town. Seriously. There have been nail-biting screamers in Portland over the last six months. Saturday's Rose City Rollers Season 7 Championships at the Memorial Coliseum continued that larynx-shredding trend with an amazing game, pairing 2011 Champs the Break Neck Betties with this season's undefeated High Rollers. Sound familiar? That's because it mirrored 2011's season ender. And like last year, the Betties clinched it with a victory, with star jammer SoulFearic Acid rounding the track scooping up points. The Betties and High Rollers were tied at 110 points with a minute and a half on the clock. With just two jams left in the game, the penultimate jam was a wash with no points scored. It all came down to SoulFearic Acid jamming against the High Rollers' Sully Skullkicker. Acid earned lead jammer, then passed the pack again to earn five points with mere seconds on the clock. Then just as gracefully, she called off the jam to earn her team the trophy. It was a beautiful game, filled with strong blocking by both teams, but the High Rollers were playing catch-up for most of the game and it wasn't enough to overcome the Betties. FINAL: Break Neck Betties 115, High Rollers 110.

The coveted trophy.

Hit the jump for the Guns N Rollers vs. Heartless Heathers recap and oodles of pictures. Plus a LONG OVERDUE recap of the first bout from the Portland Men's Roller Derby home season. Who am I kidding, this whole recap is long overdue.

Heidi Go Seek jumps from Push la Tush.

The Heathers Slay Miserables says, Eat my dust!

The Guns N Rollers Yoga Nabi Sari has my new favorite roller derby name. (Say it fast!)

The Heartless Heathers struggled this season to turn their frowns upside down, but the ice queens weren't able to pull off a single win, not even during their game for third place against the Guns N Rollers. I'm sure GNR sympathized with the Heathers' pain as they were in the same pickle last year. Of course, a year of rebuilding and epic jammer Scald Eagle on your roster (who is an adorable dork, as evidenced here) make GNR very happy indeed. The Heathers kept stage diving in front of the jammer line to secure valuable real estate before every jam in the first half—it was an interesting strategy that carried through to the BNB vs. HR game. But, oof, the Heathers got trounced with a final score of Guns N Rollers 226, Heartless Heathers 100, even with valiant efforts by the Heathers' Headache and an amazeballs apex jump by new Heather Slay Miserables, it was the Guns N Rollers party and Scald Eagle was the belle. But I think we can all agree that the Heathers won when it came to outfits though, as evidenced by Scratcher in the Eye's nude bodysuit and sparkly dangler/merkin.

Theres a lot going on here.

Speaking of rad outfits, let's time travel back a few weeks and revisit the Portland Men's Roller Derby.

Shreddy Mercury and Rob Lobster have their boutfits down pat.

It was the first game of the very first home season for the men on wheels, with the Bone Daddies squaring off against the Holy Roll'N Empire at the Indoor Goals sports arena in Beaverton. By halftime the Bone Daddies had tied it up with the Empire after trailing behind for the first half. It was a half that saw Don Juan jumping the apex with risk-defying regularity, which eventually earned him a back-blocking penalty. Going into the second half all tied up, the Bone Daddies got a lead change they held onto, giving them the first win in this shiny new season. Final: Bone Daddies 164, Holy Roll'N Empire 129. It was fun game—messy, full of hard falls and hits, and a big old party in the penalty box. Most noticeably, the skaters have gotten exponentially better since their game against Puget Sound in November. I can't wait to see the third home team, the Honey Badgers, take on the Bone Daddies on July 3. I wonder what those outfits are going to look like...

Don Juan of the Empire rounds the turn.

The Kings behind that fall.

For more of Masonite Burn's awesome roller-derby photography, go here.